Fire Baby
by PasoMaddie
Summary: What if Jace and Clary had done it in City Of Lost Souls and now Clary is pregnant? Jace still contains the heavenly fire and Clary has a baby in the oven.
1. Chapter 1

FIRE BABY

A Mortal Instruments Fanfiction  
Mortal Instruments written by Cassandra Clare

CHAPTER 1

I just found out that I'm pregnant and my boyfriend contains a fire that can burn me at touch if I'm not careful. Jace doesn't know about my pregnancy yet but I'm planning on telling him tonight. He's expecting me in ten minutes at the institute and I haven't even begun to get ready and I'm at Luke's.

You're probably wondering how I got pregnant because you're thinking that Jace and I have never slept together. Well, we did, once, when Jace was still under Sebastian's control in the moving house. Now, I have to deal with the consequences which is being pregnant at only sixteen and having a mother who will probably disown me for this.

Its five past six, five minutes past when I'm supposed to be meeting Jace and I expect a text but nothing comes through. It's only at half past that he texts he worriedly.

'Hey, thought you were coming over tonight?' That one message sends tears to fall down my cheeks and I don't even know why, probably the fact that I have to tell him that he's going to be a father.

I kind of feel like I'm in some sort of dream where I know I should go over and tell Jace and just accept it if he breaks up with me, but I just can't seem to get out of this bed.

'Clary?' came another text from Jace.

It's an hour past, seven o'clock, when I finally drag myself out from under the fortress I made with my pillows and blankets. Texts are flying into my phone. I'm beginning to feel guilty because he thinks that he's done something wrong but in reality he hasn't, we both have.

I'm about half way there when he's decided to ring me. I think of declining but realise I can't keep ignoring him.

"Oh, Clary, finally. Why haven't you responded to any of my texts?" I think of telling him the truth of how I didn't want to talk to him, but I'm scared he will take it the wrong way.

"My phone was on silent, sorry." I lie but hear a tremor in my voice.

"Clary?" He questions, worry seeping in.

I can feel the tears falling down my cheeks, I sniff. "Jace…" I say, my voice coming out as if I'm being strangled.

Sobs begin to wrack my body as he asks, "What's wrong, Clary?"

I shake my head, even though he can't see me. Taking a deep breath, I try to collect myself. "I'm almost there, I'll tell you when I get there."

"Okay…" he says tentatively.

Just up ahead, I can see the large church rise up in front of me and the wide double doors swing open. On the steps is Jace, his face a mask of concern, his hands stuffed into his pockets. In his stance I can see him refraining himself from wrapping his arms around me and I wish he didn't. I don't care about the risk of me getting burnt, I just want to feel his warmth envelope me and hold me and tell me everything will be alright.

He reaches out as if to touch my face and brush my tears away but then he draws his arm back and lets it fall limply back to his side.

"Do you want to come inside?" He asks me awkwardly, inclining his head inside. I nod, not trusting my voice.

We stand in the elevator in silence as it rides upwards. We walk down the hallway in silence, past Isabelle and Maryse who give us curious glances towards our silence.

I step into Jace's bedroom and look around, seeing it as it always is; neat and tidy, nothing out of place. I turn around to face him and find him leaning against his closed door. My eyes wander to his lips and the memories of having mine pressed against his come flooding back. Tears well into my eyes as I yearn for the pressure of his mouth just behind my ear, on my neck and my collarbone. I look at the ground and then I can see his boots.

Startled I look up into his golden eyes and smile faintly. All I can see is the concern that is flooding on his face. A tear leaks onto my shoulder and I see his gaze follow it.

"Will you tell me what's wrong now?"

My eyes widen and I'm suddenly not sure if I can do this. Oh and I'm not feeling to well, I can feel my food coming back up, I can feel the colour draining from my face and turning a shade of green. "Clary?" he asks me warily, watching as my face changes colour. I bolt past him and into his adjoining bathroom and wretch until nothing is left in my stomach. I feel his hands gently hold my hair back, careful so as not to touch any skin.

Once I'm done I can feel his worried stare in my back. I rinse my mouth out and turn to face him where just stands there, looking at me in shock. "What's wrong, Clary?"

"I'm pregnant." I blurt out and watch as this time his face changes colour.


	2. Chapter 2

**FIRE BABY - CHAPTER 2**

"Sorry?" He questions, his facial expression.

I look down towards the floor, at my hands that are twisting in front of me and back up to him; only when I look up, I feel my stomach flip. I swallow hard. "I'm pregnant." I said again.

His head shook back and forth. "This can't be happening." He says to me.

The tears that had stopped shortly were now beginning to track down my cheeks once again. Like he had down in the entrance, he reached out as if to brush my tears away but quickly stopped, remembering the problem that had sat between us for the past two months.

Without thinking, I'm wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing my face into his shoulder. He hesitates for a split second, waiting for the zap to break through and burn me but nothing does, so his arms soon encircle my waist. He holds me against me, as if he never wants to let me go and I wish that he never would. I inhale deeply, breathing in his scent of soap and sweat.

Pulling up I look up into his golden eyes and remember how I use to think he looked like a lion. I brush some of his hair back from his face.

"What are we going to do?" I ask him.

Jace shakes his head at me slowly, clearly unsure of that answer. "We'll figure something out, Clary, we always do."

My eyes twinkled with unshed tears. "But what about in the remaining time, what about now? I'm pregnant Jace, this isn't some stupid demon army, this isn't Sebastian, its worse! Its so much worse!" I could feel my voice raising, but I didn't care. I didn't bother to lower it, I just continued to plow through and yell at Jace. I knew it wouldn't do us any good, I just needed to let it out, wanted Jace to hear me out. "I can't—I can't—I won't be able to do this on my own, I'm going to need you to help me!" Heart wrenching sobs were now tearing through my body, causing my hold body to shake and my throat to close.

"Hey, hey, hey, shh." He soothed. "I'll be here with you, every step of the way, I promise."

"What's the point? You can barely touch me! What's going to happen when I need your help with the baby? Or what if I need your help?"

"Clary, stop it, calm down."

"No, Jace! How do you expect me to be come through this? How are you so calm? Are you not aware that I'm pregnant with your baby, might I add, and you contain a freaking fire that can burn me at any time?"

"Of course I am! How can you say that? I care so much about you and I am going to do everything in my power to make this work." Jace's voice was rising in volume to match mine now and I could see his fists shaking.

"Stop saying that!" I yell back at him, stress and panic rising within me. "Stop saying it's all going to be ok! How can it be?"

"Clary," He sighed. He took a deep breath and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me tight against his chest. "I'll find a cure, Clary, I promise you. I would walk to the ends of the earth for you, take a bullet for you any day because I love you and now you're carrying my child. Clary, my beautiful Clary." He sighed, running his hands through my red flaming hair that tumbled past my shoulders.

Gently, I felt the pressure of his lips on my forehead, but it wasn't enough to fix my cravings. I reached up onto my tip toes and crushed my lips to his. For a second he hesitated, feeling no response from the fire that burned within him, just underneath his skin; and then he deepened the kiss, parting his lips against mine. It was heaven until I felt a burn come to my bottom lip. We both pulled away abruptly and stared at each other longingly.

"Soon." He promises me, staring deeply into my eyes. My green on his gold.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

It's been two months since I told Jace I'm pregnant and I'm beginning to show. We haven't told our parents or anyone else yet but they're becoming suspicious of all the weight I'm putting on. Jace has tried persuading me but I'm scared of how they will react.

Most mornings I wake up and throw up while I'm still at Luke's and now they're growing worried. We've agreed today that we will tell them finally, before I really do begin to show. We wander down the hallway, hand in hand, towards the library where no doubt Maryse and Robert Lightwood would be.

Their heads turn in our direction as we slip in and Maryse smiles warmly at us. She sets a book and a pen aside and turns all of her attention to us.

"Clary, Jace, what can we do for you?"

Jace glances at me warily, I nod. "Well, we have something important to tell you."

Robert raises an eyebrow. "Oh?" He says.

I suddenly reach down and grip Jace's hand in an almost bone breaking pressure, forgetting about the risk of his skin touching mine. Although he still squeezes it reassuringly. "I'm pregnant." I blurt out so quickly that I'm not sure if they'll catch it.

They must have because their faces go white as a sheet of paper and their jaws have dropped to hit the floor. I turn my head and bury it into Jace's chest just as a spark ignites and tips my forehead. We both jump apart but neither Robert nor Maryse seem to notice it because they are both staring at each other, at a loss for words.

Finally Maryse is the one to break the uncomfortable silence. "Well, then, that was a shock but congratulations."

"Thank you, Maryse. We have to go tell Clary's parents now." She nods and we both say our goodbyes.

I don't speak a word as we ride in the taxi towards Luke's. Jace glances over at me. "Hey, everything will be ok."

I flash him a small smile. "Have you met my mother?" I ask him.

He chuckles and shakes his head. "Even still, she's going to be ecstatic." I laugh at his choice of words.

"Clary," he begins tentatively. I look up at him, listening to whatever he has to tell me. "I went to the Silent Brothers yesterday, after you left."

My eyes widen to the size of saucers. "You what? Why?"

"To find a cure."

"But they said that there wasn't."

He nods, "I know but I went back to see if they had discovered anything."

"And?" I prompt.

"Well, they had…" Worry seeps in, he is holding back, I can tell. "In order to remove the holy fire from within me, I have to die and then be brought back, it's risky but it could just—"

"Jace! No, you can't seriously be considering this option!" I reply, panicking. What if he was to die but not be able to be brought back? I wouldn't be able to deal with that.

"Clary," he says softly. "I thought you wanted this rid of me, I certainly do."

"Of course I do!" I reply as I step out of the cab and watch as it pulls away from the curb. We now stand in front of the farm house. "But not this way! I'm scared, Jace."

"Clary, I'd never leave you, you know that right?"

"But how do we know what fate will do? Jace, please, if you died and didn't come back, I don't think I would live my own life much longer…"

His eyes widen, "Clary, don't talk like that. If I go, you have to promise me that you'll keep living, for me, for our baby." I nod. "Say it." He prompts.

"I promise," I reply, but that might not be the actual case when grief and shock set in, but I don't mention that.

With a sigh, we walk into the farm house, side by side, to tell my mother and Luke that I'm having a baby.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

Surprisingly, my mother and Luke only screamed and yelled at me for a few hours but other than that, they took it pretty well. It's been a month since then and my belly is swelling fast. I sit down in a huff on one of the couches in the institute. Jace left for the Silent City, I wanted to go with him, but he wouldn't let me. Next time, if there is a next time, I will be going. I don't want to hear the news of his death secondhand.

I run my hand along my growing belly, already beginning to feel more relaxed.

I must have fallen asleep for when my eyes fluttered open, Jace was sitting beside me, a book in his hands. He looked down and smiled. "Good afternoon, beautiful." He greeted.

I smiled and sat up, stretching on the way. He chuckled. "Hi." I finally answer. "So how did it go?" It mustn't have gone too bad, because he's still sitting in front of me.

"Alright, I have to go back tomorrow. They just explained it more in depth to me. They—er, also said that I should go home and spend time with you." I could hear the unspoken part, 'in case something happens…' I whimpered. Jace turned to me with sad eyes. "I know I'm sexy and hot, but Clary, it'll be okay, I'll make sure of it. Nothing will happen."

That just made the tears fall faster and the sobs to come bigger. "You don't know that! What if something does?"

"Clary… Shh, I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that." I could feel the hesitation as he held back from touching me, I cried harder from the loss of his touch on my face, on my hair, on my lips. Suddenly I couldn't take it any longer, something inside my broke and I found myself crushing my lips to Jace's.

"Clary…" he mumbled against my lips, trying to pull me back.

Reluctantly, I let him push me away, apologising immensely. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking…"

He shook his head. "Clary, you don't have to apologise, I understand."

"I just… miss you." I admitted. He nodded.

"I miss you too, Clary."

I placed a hand onto my growing stomach and whispered, "This baby needs you, Jace." He opened his mouth to reply but before he could, my phone started buzzing in my pocket. I whipped out, flicking the top up. It was Luke. "Hey, Luke." I said, sniffling slightly.

"Clary, is everything alright?"

"Yes, fine, just hormones. What's up?"

Luke hesitated. "We need you to come home."

I frowned, Jace looked at me concerned. "Why? Is something wrong?" This made Jace frown too. I smiled softly at him, trying to brush his concern away even though mine ate at my insides.

"No, no, everything's fine. We just need you home, that is all." My frown deepened.

"Alright, I'll be home soon." I ended the call and turned to Jace. "I have to go."

He looked at me with his golden eyes. "Did something happen?" I shook my head, my eyes focussing on something in the distance. "Clary?"

I looked up, snapping back into reality, unconsciously rubbing my belly. "Luke said everything was fine."

"Do you want me to come with you?" He asked me, being the protective boyfriend I loved.

I shook my head and stood, he got to his feet with me. "No, it's fine. Mum just probably wants to discuss wedding stuff with me." He nodded. I wanted to kiss him goodbye but substituted for a soft smile and headed towards the elevator.

***PAGE BREAK***

The door closed with a soft click behind me as I stepped into the hallway of Luke's house. "Luke? Mum?" I called out in the large, empty house.

"Clary?" I heard Luke's voice trail frantically from their adjoining bathroom, that is off from his bedroom.

I slipped my hand into the pocket of my pants and pulled out my phone; a finger hovering over the number one in case I needed to call Jace. If there was something here, I wasn't entirely sure I would be able to protect myself and the baby.

The bathroom door was closed, my knuckles rapped against the wood of it. "Luke?" I called.

"Oh, Clary." He said, relief evident in your voice. "Run, go to Jace, don't come back here, not for a little while." I could hear impact against impact and a groan that sounded like it had left Luke's lips.

But I didn't listen, I pushed the door open anyway. What I saw, scared me, I wasn't quite sure how I was still standing.

Sebastian, stood by the bath tub, with Luke kneeling on the tiles, blood coming from a cut in his lip and bruises blossoming across his face and body.

"Ah, sister, always one to not listen." Sebastian chided. "Clarissa, how have you been?" Then his eyes moved to my stomach. I hugged it protectively, my lips forming into a frown. "Been a naughty girl, I see?"

I spat at him and he tsk tsk me. "What do you want?" I demanded as I pressed one into my phone. I heard him pick up on the second ring, calling my name. I didn't answer though.

"Well, that's simple." He said, "I want you. I also want you to give me your damn phone. I know you're calling him, I can hear him; he's on his way."

"Over my grave." Luke spat. Sebastian sent a punch towards Luke's head but Luke was already on his feet, his fists swinging.

"Luke!" I cried out, fearing him getting hurt, or worse, dead. My hands clutched at my stomach uselessly. My eyes scoped the bathroom, searching for any objects that could be used as weapons. I had a few daggers stored in my boots but I wasn't sure how I would bend down to reach those or how effective they would be on someone like the demon who battled against my future father.

I hurried out into the kitchen where Luke stored some dangerous looking blades. I lifted one from its spot in the bottom drawer and felt its weight. Its heavy but I think I can manage it.

I stumble back into the bathroom where both have bruises appearing on their skin and split lips. Both seem focussed on the task before them, and when the blade in my hand sinks into Sebastian's back, they both seem surprised.

I stumble back, the blade clattering to my feet. Sebastian falls to his knees, choking on his own foul blood, black blood covering the tiles. The door behind us opens wider and Jace walks into the situation. His eyes widen and then look up at my eyes which are wide and tearful. He was evil but he was still my brother. I had just killed my own brother.

I bring my hands to my head and hold them over my ears, willing myself to not scream. I feel arms envelope me and for a second I think it's Jace, but by the feminine touch of them I realise it's my mother. Tears cloud my vision and I know she is crying too. We hold each other and cry until no more tears can come.

***PAGE BREAK***

Jace sits on my bed when I finally crash onto the bed. He looks at me and then down to my stomach and then finally my lips. I know he wants to kiss me as much as I want to kiss him, but we don't. We just stare at each other.

"So, tomorrow?" I whisper to him.

He stretches his long body beside me and rubs a strand of my hair between his fingers. "Er, yeah."

"You're going to let me come, aren't you?"

He looks at me sadly. "Clary, I'm not sure if that's a good idea. Especially after today."

"But I want to be there with you! Please, just let me come." I begin to rub my stomach, feeling the motion soothe me and release the anger and miserable feeling that I have bottled up inside me.

He watches as my hands draw circles on my swollen belly. He sighs, defeated. "Ok but only if you promise me one thing."

Worry seeps in. "What?"

"If I die and don't come back, keep living—for me, for the baby."


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: I don't really like putting Author's Notes above or below the chapters of my fanfictions or stories, but I wasn't quite sure for people are following this story get notified by the updates of chapters, so if not, chapter 4 is now longer and updated. If you do, sorry about the several updates, was having some technical problems, but it's all fixed now! Hope you like it! On with the story!**

CHAPTER 5

The back of my chair is hard and digs into the spine of my back. Jace sits beside me, quiet contemplating his life, sometimes glancing at me; looking at my red hair, my green eyes, my small bulge of a stomach that is hidden by the material of my black dress that is tight around my middle, and lastly my lips.

We're sitting within the main room of the Silent City, waiting for the Silent Brothers to be ready for the ceremony. Not caring about the risks, I reach out and grasp his warm hand. He jumps slightly at my touch but smiles at me warmly. I hold my breath as I bring his hand towards my stomach, gently resting it against the tight skin of my belly. He gasps but I breathe a sigh of relief as no bursts of energy are released from Jace to me.

He smiles at me, squeezing my hand. Leaning forward, I allow my lips to brush his gently. Instantly I want more but with a pout of my lips, I resist and pull back to settle with looking into his golden orbs. The ones that soon will be behind his eyelids and golden eyelashes; the ones that I hope to see once again.

'_If you are ready, Mr Herondale,'_ Brother Zachariah whispers into our minds. No matter how many times I hear the Brothers' voices within my mind; it still sends shivers down my spine. '_We are ready for you'._

Not feeling the need to let go of each other, Jace and I stand with our hands still laced together and as one we walk to where the Silent Brothers have prepared for the ceremony of Jace's death and return.

I try not to think of it as his death, I try to think about the positive thought that he will hopefully come back to me and his baby.

If you would just lie down on the table here, the Silent Brother gently instructed. Jace's hand slipped from mine and in that instantly, I felt the coldness and emptiness against my palm, the craving my skin yearned for of Jace's hand in mine.

He glanced sadly at me, his lips drawing up at the corners slightly, trying to relieve me from the concern that hung heavily on my shoulders. It didn't help.

'_This may sting a little but the pain won't last long_.' The brother spoke softly, understandingly. I hadn't been told anything about the procedure, so I had no idea how any of this worked. All I could do was sit and wait. I wasn't sure how well my words would work right now, they seemed to catch in my throat. I couldn't even get 'I love you' past my lips, my mouth was clamped shut as if cement was holding it together.

I watched as tip of the needle slid into Jace's skin, right above his heart. His eyes never left mine and when the eyes that I knew so well disappeared behind his eyelids, the words that I so badly wanted to whisper finally burst free, too late, "I love you."

***PAGE BREAK***

One of the other Silent Brothers had brought me a chair to sit in, another had explained that in about an hour, they would insert another needle which would hopefully have Jace's heart beating again and will have hopefully lost the fire inside him. The liquid that was within the needle, which also made Jace's heart stop, contained a liquid that would act as an extinguisher and douse the flames.

Now I sit with my head in my hands, waiting. It has almost been an hour when I feel a flutter within my stomach. Instinctively, my hand flies to my stomach, feeling the flutter come again. I gasp involuntarily, and Brother Zachariah turns his unseeing gaze on me.

_It's kicking_, he tells me. I gasp again, tears springing to my eyes. Suddenly I hunger for the touch of, Jace's hands on my belly, feeling as our baby kicks his palms softly. Brother Zachariah turns to the table behind him and lifts one of the syringes. It is time, Clarissa. He informs me.

I stand as the tip is buried into Jace's flesh, right above his chest. We wait in silence, me with my breath caught in my chest and Brother Zachariah with his head bowed slightly.

Five, ten, fifteen minutes pass and Jace's heart still hasn't begun to beat. I wait, my spine stiff. Half an hour passes and dread begins to bloom. Another half hour makes it an hour and we are still waiting on his heart to beat and his eyes to open. Only it doesn't…

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Brother Zachariah lifts his head and in my head I hear him sigh sadly. '_Clarissa Morgenstern, we will leave you to give your goodbyes.'_

"What?!" my head snaps up suddenly, I feel my neck crack. "No, no, we can't give up now! He can't be dead! He-he-no… no… this can't be happening." My knees feel weak as if I'm about to collapse, I can feel the flutter in my stomach, more intense than before, sweat beads along my spine and forehead, my breath comes out in small outbursts, gasps more like. My vision is blurry with tears, spilling over my cheeks, cooling down the burn of my blood in my cheeks.

Brother Zachariah leaves without another word, leaves me with my emotions, which may not be such a good thing. I stumble over to the table where Jace lays; silent, motionless.

I lace my fingers through him, no longer needing to fear the fire that used to burn inside him. Tears splash onto our woven fingers, staining his hands. "Oh, Jace…" I whisper. I run a hand through his hair, across his temples, down his jaw, along the outline of his lips, down his neck, across his collarbone and finally resting over the spot where his heart used to beat in time with mine. Leaning down, my small belly brushing against the wood at the close contact of the bench, I press my cold, tear stained lips to his soft, motionless ones where no breath disperses anymore.

Where my hand lies on his chest, I feel a soft thud. I pull back and stare at Jace's lifeless face. Another thud, and another, beginning to become faster and stronger. I call out for Brother Zachariah and in a minute he is by my side, his fingers fumbling at Jace's throat, feeling for his pulse which the Brother confirms as a good sign. I breathe a sigh of relief, letting my hand stroke my stomach.

I see his eyelids flutter and then his golden eyes are looking up groggily. His eyes meet mine and for a second we just stare. He lifts one hand and brushes away my tears.

"Hey." He whispers, his voice hoarse.

I laugh with relief and happiness while tears pour down my face. "Hey," I reply and crush my lips to his.

With amusement evident in his voice, I hear Brother Zachariah leave with, '_Be careful, Clarissa, Jonathan will still be weak.'_


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

I gasp. "Jace, quick, place your hand here." I clutch his hand and drag it to my stomach where the baby kicked once more.

He gasps and chuckles weakly. "Was that the baby?" he asks me incredibly.

With a nod, I giggle. "Yeah." I look at him and see that he looks exhausted. He's sitting up on the table in front of me and there are dark circles beneath his eyes and his normal posture is sagging with weariness. Lightly, I trail my fingers down his cheek bone to just where the corner of his lip is. He sighs and his eyes flutter closed. "Are you ok, Jace?" I knew he would lie, but still I had to ask.

Opening his eyes, he smiles. "Yes, of course I am." Our fingers interlaced together as he tuggs on my arm lightly. "Sit down, Clary, you're feet are swollen." Reluctantly I take a seat beside him.

Brother Zachariah glides into the room. _How are you feeling, Jace?_ His mental voice came into our minds and I have to stifle a shudder with a shiver. Jace's arm links behind me, bringing my body closer to his to offer me warmth.

"Fine, thank you." Jace answers.

_We have called upon the Iron Sisters so we can perform the procedure to protect your mind as soon as possible._

"Thank you."

***PAGE BREAK***

The smell of cigarettes and coffee fill the interior of the back of the taxi. Reaching over, I clasp Jace's hand in mine. He squeezes it gently and I scoot closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder.

When the taxi pulled up at the curb in front of the institute, Jace payed the driver and we stepped out, staring up at the large building that looms before us.

Hand in hand, we trudge up the stairs and through the door. In the elevator I stand with my arms wrapped around him and my head on his chest. His arms too snake around me, holding me close to him.

When the elevator came to a stop and the doors open we were greeted by the whole family. Isabelle, Alec, Maryse, Robert, Magnus and Simon all stand there, grins breaking across their faces. While each one came up and hugged Jace, I made sure I kept a firm grip on his hand, never wanting to let go in case he somehow vanished from me.

After a dinner of Taki's, Jace declared himself that he was tired and together we retired back to his room.

He flopped onto his bed, fully dressed.

"I'm just going to get changed." He closes his eyes and nods. Clutching one of his shirts and a pair of my sleep shorts in my hands, I wander into the bathroom. I stare at my reflection through his mirror. I seem to have a sort of glow with weariness in the background. I pull out my hair from its ponytail, letting my red flames fall out around my shoulders. Once I take my shirt off, I pull my maternity bra on and look at my six month pregnant belly. My skin around my stomach feels tight and uncomfortable and only the feeling of rubbing helps ease the tension.

Turning away from myself I slip Jace's shirt over my head and feel it settle around my middle, hugging it kind of tightly but not as bad as my own tops; and slip my shorts on, which hangs just on my hips.

When I come out Jace looks to be asleep but as I come closer to the bed, he opens his eyes and looks at me sleepily.

I slip under the covers beside him and notice that he has removed his shoes and changed his jeans for sleep shorts. He wraps me in his arms and just holds me as he kissed the top of my head. I pull back and just stare at him as I trail my fingers across his face.

"Jace…" I whisper but before I can get another word out, Jace's lips are on mine, kissing me greedily. I kiss him back, equally as passionate. He rolls on top of me, holding himself up by his arms. I gasp surprised and watch as he tries to position himself carefully over my protruding belly. His lips find mine again and my hands find his back, his stomach, his hair and his face. His shirt somehow becomes discarded on the floor and soon we are lying on our backs beside each other, panting heavily.

I roll onto my side with some difficulty because of my stomach and watch as Jace's eyes begin to flutter closed. "Jace," I whisper under my breath.

His eyes open to look at me and then close once more. "Mm?" he murmurs.

"I love you." He smiles softly as he continues to fall asleep.

"I love you too." He holds his arms out and I somehow manage to shift into them.

***PAGE BREAK***

Waking up I feel the familiar roll of nausea in my stomach that I haven't felt for months. I glance up and see Jace already awake, staring down at me, his arms still securely around me.

"Hey," he whispers hoarsely.

I sigh, feeling my stomach do another flip. That was it—before I could greet him back, I'm wrestling myself out of bed and running for the bowl of the toilet, where I empty my stomach out. Jace stands behind me, holding back my hair and rubbing my back. As I stand up and slump against the boy behind me, I sigh, exhausted already.

"I thought you were over with the morning sickness?" He asks me, concerned as I begin to rinse my mouth out and pick my toothbrush up.

I shrug and look at him through the mirror. "I thought so too." Quickly, I run the bristles of my toothbrush along my teeth.

I turn back to him when I am finished. "Is there something wrong?" Jace questions, his eyes full of worry.

"How are you feeling today?" I ask, quickly changing the subject. I don't think there is anything wrong, nothing felt wrong to me apart from the nausea that I had had before; but it felt better to talk about something else and take my mind off of a potential problem.

Jace look at me through half narrowed eyes but at a glance of my pleading face, he seems to agree to change the subject, so he goes along with me. "I feel fine, a little tired, worried about you." And there it is again.

"Jace…" I groan.

"I'm sorry, Clary but maybe we should go and see Magnus, make sure there isn't anything wrong. Anyway we haven't gone to anyone about the pregnancy before, we've just been going with the flow… but now—" He explains, pulling me back into the bedroom.

"No, Jace, we don't have to. I would know if something was wrong—she is in my stomach after all."

He looks at me, watching my expressions. "If you're sure…"

"I am sure." But the truth is, I'm not. Something doesn't exactly feel right; there is a pull in my stomach, one that doesn't feel normal. However I choose to ignore it, thinking it must be normal. How would I know if something was normal or not? This is my first pregnancy; this meant I knew nothing of what is happening within my womb. I just hope that whatever is happening, it will all work out in the end.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

The pregnancy has continued over the past few months with a few mornings still containing morning sickness. I can tell Jace is worried because he never takes his eyes off of me, he's always watching. The light pull that's in my abdomen has also progressed and is now becoming more frequent and stronger.

I'm now in my eighth month of pregnancy, one month away from my due date and I've still refused to go to Magnus, telling Jace that I'm fine. I woke up again at two a.m. with morning sickness and Jace holding my hair back. It seems that the more that tug increases, the more frequent the morning sickness becomes. And the thing is, is that the morning sickness comes during the night, in the middle of the day, whenever. It is also becoming a lot after I've eaten, which is a little worrying because I'm barely keeping any food down.

Jace had his ceremony today where his mind became blocked to any of the curses and mind control spells that can be placed upon him. Unfortunately I had to ruin it by running out of the room and puking my guts out. The Silent Brothers have become attuned to the problems I've been having with the pregnancy and with Brother Zachariah's constant questions, I know he too is becoming concerned. Although every time he offers to check how the baby is progressing, I refuse.

***PAGE BREAK***

"Clary, wake up." I hear Jace's voice break through my dreams. I groan and pull a pillow over my head. He chuckles. "Clary, I just want to tell you that we've received message of demons in Central Park. Alec, Isabelle and I are going to go." I pull the pillow away from my face and stare at him sadly. He knows I don't like him going demon fighting; every time I'm lying here on my own worrying about him. I know that he's Jace Herondale, one of the best shadowhunters for his age, but still. "I'll be back soon, I promise."

I sigh. "I wish I could go with you…"

"Yes but you're pregnant."

"I know, I know… help me up?" I raise my arms above my head for him to wrench me up.

Once I was on my feet, Jace asks me, "Where are you going?"

"Bathroom?" I question as if I'm asking for permission.

"Well do I get a kiss before I go then?" He asks, tapping his toe. I consider my answer for a second before finally nodding. He takes a few steps to close the distance between us and then his lips are on mine. We stand there for a few minutes, lost in each other, until a knock and a cough come from the doorway.

We break apart and turn to see Alec waiting there, looking kind of awkward and embarrassed. Almost instantly I blush. "Er, Jace…" he says. "We have to get going."

"Right." He replies and gives me one last peck on the cheek. "See you soon."

"Right baby, it's just you and me for a little while." I whisper to the little baby that's growing inside me, once Jace has left.

***PAGE BREAK***

"Simon?" I say as he picks up my call on the third ring.

There's a rummaging sound in the background and a crash of symbols and a guitar plucking. "Oh, Clary, hi."

"What are you doing? Do you want to hang out?"

Another clash of a cymbal and then Simon's voice was back and the sound of suburban life. "Um, I would love to except I have band practise."

"Oh…" I thought for a moment. "Could I come and watch?"

"Er, Clary, do you think that's a good idea? I mean, you are pregnant…"

I feel so angry that I could slam the phone shut but I don't. I hate being pregnant, you can barely do anything and everyone treats you as if you are made of the finest glass. "Fine then." As I go to close my phone, a sharp pain ripples through my lower abdomen.

I gasp aloud and suddenly Simon's voice becomes urgent and worried. "Clary? Clary, are you ok?" Another pain is sent through my stomach and I almost drop the phone. My free hand grasps my stomach. "Clary…" he says warily.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." I say and hung up. I quickly sit on the edge of the bed and press number one into my phone, the speed dial number for Jace. "Ah!" I groan and begin to breath gently. Jace picks up on the fourth ring.

"Er, Clary, this isn't a good time…" he says and I hear the slash of his seraph sword as it strucks at a demon.

Tears are welling up in my eyes and spilling onto my cheeks. The pain has subsided for now but I still feel it lingering in the background. "I know, I'm sorry Jace, but ah!" For a second I hear Jace falter and he curses under his breath. With the jolts that could be heard through the phone's receiver I could tell he must be running.

"Clary, I'm sorry but I've got to go, Alec needs my help."

He goes to hang up but I quickly scream, "Its time! Oh, God, Jace! I think it's time!"

Jace stops running automatically and I hear the thud of his phone hit the ground and him curse once more. "W-what?" he stutters as soon as he has gotten a grip of it again.

"I think the baby's coming."

"But you're not due for another month…"

I sob out loud. "Jace, help me." I know he would be torn between me and Alec and I know Isabelle is there but I have no one here with me. It's too early; the baby shouldn't be coming this early. "It's too early!" I cry.

I can imagine him standing in the middle of Central Park, his mind going around in circles. "Ok," he says finally. "I'm on my way, just hold on. Call your Mum and Maryse should be in her office. She can help. It's all going to be fine, Clary."

"Hurry!" And then he was gone.

***PAGE BREAK***

"Mum? It's time."

I hear her gasp in the background. "Oh, honey, I'll be right there."

***PAGE BREAK***

Maryse's office was empty and so was the library, I begin to wander back to Jace's room as another contraction hit. I press my hand to the wall and hunch over, trying to fight the pain.

"By the angel, Clary, are you alright?" I hear Maryse's voice from behind me and her footsteps running down the hallway towards me.

"Contraction," I breathe out as I begin to breathe deeply.

"Oh, my!" she exclaims. "Yes, that's it, pant it out." After a moment the pain subsides and I slowly up right myself. "Let's get you down to the Infirmary and make you comfortable."

***PAGE BREAK***

The infirmary is quiet and clean. Maryse rummages through the closets and pulls out plastic sheets and spreads them over one of the beds, then allowing for me to lie down on it. Eventually Jace bursts through the doors and hurries towards me. He's covered in demon ichor and a few cuts are on his arms and face, already beginning to heal from the many iratzes he's inked across his biceps and neck.

"Jace!" I squeak, holding out my hand for him to take it.

He does so, smiles and squeezes my hand before glancing at Maryse. "I had to leave Isabelle and Alec there. Once Clary had called me, I left almost straight away."

Maryse nods, her face solemn. "If you need anything or if the contractions become closer together, call for me."


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

"You're almost there, Clary, just one more push and then you have your baby." Maryse tells me as my mother and Jace let me squeeze their hands for dear life.

"Come on Clary, you can do this!" Jace encourages from right my right. I groan and push until the baby pops out. I wait, breathing heavily and slumping back against the pillows, for the cry my baby should give. Silence only responds to my hard work.

Just when I think it's over, another excruciating pain comes that gives me the feeling that I want to push again. I cry out to my mother and she quickly releases my hand and takes my baby off of Maryse. The woman at the end of the table checks me and looks up surprised.

"Clary, you're going to have to push again, you're having another baby."

I stutter, "W-What?" My words barely come out on a breath of air. "No, that can't be right."

"Well, Clary, it is and right now, you have to push."

"Clary, Clary, look at me." Jace says to me, drawing my attention to him. "You can do this, I know you, and I believe in you. You're one of the strongest women I've ever met."

***PAGE BREAK***

A soft wail fills the institute's infirmary as I slump back against the mountain of pillows. I see Jace begin to rub his hand, the one I had been squeezing. As I listen to my baby's cries, I try so hard to be happy but it is hard because my mind is on the other one, the one that was born as a stillborn.

When my baby is clean and handed to me, I can't help but break down into tears. Jace's arms encircle around me, holding me tight and letting my tears flow onto him. I turn my head into the crook of his neck which is just level with me because he's sitting in the chair by my bed. He kisses the top of my head and then our baby's forehead.

Even though I know the answer, I still have to ask. I look up at Maryse, who still stands a little ways off, with tear filled eyes. "The other one?" I can't help but have my voice filled with hope but when Maryse looks away, I know the answer even more. My other baby is dead. "Was it a boy or a girl?"

"Clary, don't put yourself through this…" Jace begins but I cut him off.

"Was it a boy or a girl?" I persist.

Maryse looks at me sadly. "It was a girl."

The tears just seem to fall harder and faster now. I pull the top of the blanket away from the baby in my arms and peer down. It's a boy, I have a son. "It's a boy." I tell Jace, trying for a small smile up at him, but the corners of my mouth just can't seem to go up.

"What are we going to name him?" Jace whispers into my ear. I shrug and hand him the baby boy. I want to sleep, I am going to sleep. "Clary?" He asks me confused and warily, swinging our baby gently to help him sleep.

"I want to sleep." I snap. Maryse scurries over and begins to remove the plastic and help me into some comfier clothes and ones that aren't covered with blood and sweat. I slip under the covers and turn to my side that no one is on, content with not seeing anyone. I stare out the window, the only window in the infirmary and just wish everyone would leave me alone.

After a while I close my eyes and pretend that I have two healthy babies, instead of just one of a twin set.

***PAGE BREAK***

Maryse left hours ago but Jace hasn't left my side, the baby asleep in his arms and I still lay, facing the wall.

"Clary…" Jace attempts for the hundredth time that evening. "Clary, come on, our son needs you."

My mouth remains clamped shut and my posture continues to be rigid. I don't want to talk, he should know that. I want to sleep but that seems far off. My eyes don't feel heavy from the lack of sleep I've been having, they feel clogged with tears that are still to fall.

Days and nights pass and my baby cries out for his mother, for the food that he needs from me but I haven't moved. A week passes and the only times I get up is to go to the bathroom.

Jace hasn't given up on me yet, he sits beside me every minute of every hour, nursing and taking care of the child I should be taking care of. He tries to coax me out of my depression, but nothing can seem to break me out of it.

I haven't eaten in days; my stomach grumbles desperately for food and my throat aches for the parchment it needs.

***PAGE BREAK***

It's weeks later when I hear the door open and then let the squeak of chairs and footsteps; and lastly the closing of a door.

"Clarissa…" a voice that is familiar drawls. I'm tempted to roll over and see the face of the warlock. I feel the springs in the bed squeak as Magnus takes a seat beside me on the edge of the mattress. "Clarissa, dear… you have grieved enough for your daughter, now you must come and take care of your living son."

Heat rose in my cheeks and I roll over to face him, anger visible in my eyes. He rose from the bed, allowing myself more room but at the sight of his face, I feel the tears that have been bottled up inside me for so long well up in my eyes and spill over onto my cheeks with chest racking sobs. "I don't know if I can…" I sobbed.

"Of course you can, Clary." Magnus sighs, rubbing his temples as if warding off an oncoming headache. "Look, I'm not a counsellor or anything like that, but I do know that every person who loves you will be with you every step of the way; especially Jace. You know, you're killing him. He's barely slept, just sat beside you trying to do all he can for your son; but now's it's your turn, now you have to get up and do what's right."

I roll onto my side, ignoring the rest of his words. He was right, I realise, I need to live for my son, I have to keep trying for my son. I may have lost one child but I still have one. I wait until I hear Magnus' retreating footsteps and wait until I hear more footfalls echo towards me; and lastly the scrape of a chair.

Rolling in the direction of the chair, I watch as Jace gazes down at his hands, where our baby would be but isn't. Fear circles through my body but all of my thoughts disappear once I see his appearance; dark circles and bags surrounding his eyes, his clothes hanging off of his shoulders.

"Jace…" I croak out as I push myself up into a sitting positionand watch as he jumps, his eyes snapping to me with such surprise and shock. "I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry," I continue to repeat through strangled sobs. "I'm sorry, so very sorry." At first Jace just sits there in his chair, staring at me with the saddest of eyes before eventually reaching out to me and curling me in his arms. He pushes my head to his warm chest, where I hear his heart beating against my ear. He doesn't say anything, just holds me, listening to my muttered apologies.

I pull back looking into his golden eyes which look so burnt of light. "Jace?" I whisper hopelessly.

I reach out to touch his cheek but he pulls away and looks at me with hurt eyes. "Don't, just don't." He looks down at his hands and then back up into my eyes. His body is shaking and he looks like he's about to cry. I want to reach out to him and hold him, but I know better. "How could you?" his voice comes out in barely a whisper and I can't hold back the shudder that runs through the length of my body as I shut my eyes. "How could you just shut yourself off like that for a month? When our son needs you, when _I_ need you? You didn't even try to get out of your rough patch until someone other than myself talked to you."

I couldn't help the disgust at myself that welled up inside me or the anger I felt towards him. "_How_ could I?" I answer back, louder than I intended. He sits back shocked. "I carried her for eight months, I carried her for eight months and she died. I'm sorry if I couldn't cope but you have no idea what it feels like to carry a baby for that long and then give birth to it, only to find out its dead!" I am in tears again and Jace sits there, looking at me sadly.

"Except our son…"

I admit, I'm guilty about abandoning my son, but I couldn't help it, I just felt stuck in that place of grieving. "I know and I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. I—I—," Finally Jace allowed himself to comfort me properly, whispering apologies of his own.

"I'm sorry, I should have helped you more or I should have pressured you into going to see Magnus." I shake my head against his chest and feel tiredness weigh down on my eyelids. He must feel my muscles relaxing, for he gently pushes me back against the pillows and slips onto the narrow bed beside me, allowing me to use his chest as a pillow. Shortly my eyelids have slid closed and my breathing has become shallow.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

When I wake up, I am alone once more and the spot where Jace had been is cold and empty. Tentatively, I place my bare feet onto the tiles and feel the coldness seep into my bones. Slowly, I place all of my weight onto my legs and stand.

There is no one outside when I walk out, pulling my cardigan more tightly around my body. As I travel through the hallways of the institute I become aware of voices coming from the kitchen. I peer inside and see everyone gathered around the kitchen bench, apparently trying to teach Isabelle how to cook.

Jace is standing silently a little off from everyone else, a baby in his arms and soft smirk curling up the corners of his lips. He seems to sense my presence because his gaze rises to meet mine. Pushing himself off the bench, he slowly makes his way towards me. I step outside and wait in the hallway and when he appears in front of me, I don't know what to think or say.

"Hey, you're up." he says but I don't reply, I can't reply; my eyes are set on the small bundle in his arms. Jace seems to notice because his breath hitches and he hesitates, asking me a question that I had been waiting for the eight months I had been carrying him. "Do you want to hold our son?"

It took me a few moments for me to be able to answer and even then I'm not sure what he just asked me. "Sorry?" I question.

He chuckles softly, but underneath it I can hear the nervousness. "I said: do you want to hold him?"

With a nod of my head, he cautiously offers my son—_our_ son, to me. He fits perfectly in the crook of my elbow and when I touch his small little hand, his fingers wrap around my thumb. I gasp in amazement and delight, tears leaking from the corners of my eyes.

Guilt flows into me, almost overriding all of my emotions. How could I have left this small child? What kind of mother am I? I feel disgusted at myself and all I want to do is beat myself up for it. But I know that won't help anyone, especially not my son; I know the only thing left to do now is make a promise to myself that I will never again abandon this baby.

Jace sees the determination in my eyes and questions me, "What are you thinking?"

My gaze lifts to his and I smile softly at him. "I'm thinking that I'm never going to leave my son alone ever again. I'm thinking that I promise to make up for the lost weeks and make his life one that will be cherished to the best of my abilities."

His eyes blaze up with love as his lips crash against mine. I make a short noise of surprise and my eyes fly open, but my eyelids soon flutter closed as my heartbeat competes with Jace's. We pull away when the small bundle in my arms stirs and cries. I look up into Jace's golden eyes frantically, unsure what to do.

"I bet he's hungry." Jace whispers, his cheeks slightly red as his breathing is a little fast paced.

I glance up startled. "What?" I whisper.

Before he can answer, Simon wanders out into the hallway. "Hey, Jace, I was just sent out to find—," He stops midsentence and his gaze penetrates me. I let one of the corners of my lip twitch up in an attempt of a small smile. "Oh, hey, Clary. How are you?" He asks awkwardly.

I feel my face light up at the sight of my best friend. I feel like a new person, like I have only just woken up after one hundred years like Sleeping Beauty. "Simon!" A grin spreads across my face as I wrap my spare arm around his slim figure. Tentatively, his arms wrap around me too, careful of the baby in my arms.

Pulling away, I smile up at him and he smiles back. I turn back towards Jace as I get a whiff of the smell that is wafting out from the kitchen and say, "I'm hungry."

He chuckles and wraps an arm around my waist. "I'm not surprised. You haven't really eaten anything lately. Maybe after or before you have eaten, you can learn to feed him."

"What are we going to call him, Jace?" He just shrugs and as we're pushing through the doors into the kitchen, one comes to me. "What about Christopher?"

I see his eyes light up a little at the suggestion but all he says is, "Let's talk about it later, but for now let's just get some food into you and our son."

A round of greetings and applause echoes around the kitchen as someone catches sight of us—which I suspect is Isabelle—walking through.

Suddenly I feel kind of trapped and scared, everyone is talking at me and I feel like a deer in headlights. I feel the pressure of someone's hand in my free one and look down to see Jace's hand squeeze mine lightly. Everyone is hugging me and talking to me. That's when I see my mother standing a little away from the crowd. Jace takes our son from me and pushes me gently in her direction. I can see her eyes well up with tears and feel my own do the same at the sight of her.

"Mum…" I whisper softly, I'm not sure if she heard me but she smiles and engulfs me in an embrace, squeezing me tightly as if she's afraid that if she lets go, I'll disappear again. "Oh, Clary… you scared me to death."

"I'm sorry." I say into her shoulder, letting the tears flow more freely. "Will you teach me how to look after your grandson?" I ask as I pull away. A strong, warm arm wraps around my waist and I automatically know it's my Jace because I lean into him and tilt my face up with my eyes closed and my lips slightly perked. He leans down and brushes his lips against mine.

My mother is crying with small hiccups and she is nodding her head enthusiastically. "Of course I will, Clary." And then her lips twitch up in a sheepish smile. "As long as I'm not called Grandma, I'm too young to be a grandmother." We all laugh at that and then I'm being taught to breastfeed my son while the men wait out in the hallway. Once the boys are allowed back in we settle down for the food that Isabelle cooked, which surprisingly doesn't taste that bad. But I suspect it's all thanks to the other women that were in the kitchen.

Jace sits beside me and places a kiss on my cheek. "And by the way," he whispers into my ear. "I love Christopher."

I turn to him eyes wide, a big grin on my face. "Really?"

He nods, smiling at my reaction. "And what about Luke as the middle name?"

"I love it." I stand up and everyone stops their conversation, all of their attention on me. "Everyone, Jace and I have an announcement." I say loudly, so that my voice carries over everyone. "We would like you to meet the newest member of the Herondale family… Christopher Luke Herondale." Everyone applauds and cheers and I see Luke, who is sitting next to Jocelyn smile softly at me and I can't help but smile back.

"He's having my surname?"

I turn to him, kissing him lightly on the lips. "Do you mind?"

He shakes his head. "Not at all… in fact, I was going to ask you this sooner or later." He says, pulling out a velvet box from his leather jacket pocket and gets down on one knee in front of me. I can't help but gasp. "Clarissa Fray, will you marry me?"


End file.
